This dovetails with something I read once, written by a gay man, about how it wasn’t until his late teens and early twenties–after a combination of studying art in college and being exposed to gay culture–that the thought even occurred to him that men in general, and by extension, he specifically, could be thought of as physically attractive and sexually desirable in the same way that women commonly are, and how damaging it was to him to believe for so much of his life that male bodies are inherently sexually disgusting.

Which, incidentally, is a belief I’ve noticed that a lot of guys seem to have tucked away in the back of their minds, and it’s never not slightly tragic to me when a guy I’m utterly ga-ga over is shocked to realize that someone could see his body as physically attractive, in exactly the same manner and degree, as he sees his female partners’.

While patriarchy robs us women of our agency and bodily autonomy by constantly reminding us that we exist, in its eyes, so that men may consume our very flesh, on the flipside, men are robbed of the opportunity to receive desire. Patriarchy frames sexual desire as a plan to violently conquer, to invade, to ride in with torches and salt the earth beneath you; and in so doing, it makes it difficult to believe that you are desirable if you have never suffered sexual violence, or at least been threatened with it. We need a better way to think of desire, of sex, of relationships, because what we have now does right by no one.

All of this!

This, this this this

It breaks my heart to know how so many guys go without realising how amazing and desirable they are. Sometimes all I want do is hug a sad looking boy and tell him that he is wonderful and his shirt really suits him. Compliments don’t cost a thing.

I think this is really important… I kinda don’t really like myself ;____;