Things only bullied kids will understand
-Beliving that none of your friends actually want to be your friend and they hate being near you
-Hating normal things because they were used to mock you
-Having to seek constant validation for your existance
-Remembering particular insults you’ve been called for years and will probably never forget them
-Beliving you’re too ugly for anyone to ever love
-Not wanting to go to a new school/further education because you know the same thing will happen there
-Having your parents tell you that you’re only being ‘teased’
-Having people wash their hands in disgust if they accidentally touch you.Remember, you don’t have to feel all of these to understand
-Having people say you like someone as a way to gross that someone out
-Never quite trusting anyone.
-Having people ask you out as a dare
-”They’re only making fun of you ‘cause they’re jealous!”
-”He’s only mean to you ‘cause he’s got a crush on you!”
-Having to deal with bullshit ‘zero tolerance’ policies-being told you’ll be happy in college only to discover that people don’t change
-believing that if you’re not way more successful and happier than everyone who ever bullied you then you’re worthless and they’ve won
-constantly evaluating yourself looking for the thing that made the abuse happen and falling into a spiral of self-loathing
-never quite being able to believe you didn’t deserve it somehow
-constantly expecting it to happen again and so never properly relaxing into any situation- being told that you’re imagining it, that those people are really nice
- being expected to respect your bullies by everyone because of their social position
- being invited to join a group only to be the target of their insults and mockery
- having half-chewed food rubbed in your hair and juice poured into your bags
- waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting for it all to happen again and inevitably driving people away because you are too paranoid and wary-not being able to describe to new friends just how bad it was
-being deathly afraid people just won’t believe you
-seeing the people who bullied you grow to be Really Good People, but they’ve never apologized
-seeing the people who bullied you grow to be Really Bad People and everybody says they always knew they were an ass, but never helped you out
-not being able to talk about past experiences because you already feel like a burden to your friends with too much baggage
-not being able to ask someone out for fear they’d say yes only out of pity
-letting seemingly little things get to you because they throw you right back into the days where everything was really bad-Being unable to relate to anyone without thinking they are secretly laughing behind your back
-Not being able to take a compliment without thinking it’s a joke.
-Not being able to take a joke. People think you are an irritable person, but in truth you are just tired for having been insulted so many times in your life, you just want people to stop rubbing that wound.
-Becoming dependent on someone else to live your social life. Without this person you’d rather stay home alone, because you feel too defenceless and the others will surely devour you as if you were a deer between lions.
-You’re a fully grown adult, but you’re still afraid of crossing that park when you’re alone.
-It’s the last day of school, everyone is sad and crying because they will part ways. You just wait for it to be over and hope that the next period of your life will be better. Off without any of them.
-Also, some of the above are painstakingly accurate. “Having people ask you out as a dare” Yeah, I remember that.
-Realizing the few happy memories of your childhood that you can recall, are the very few moments when someone accidentally treated you like a normal person. This probably hurts more than it should.just reading this made me burst into tears
wow.
talk about realizing you have wounds you weren’t even aware of- feeling obligated to help, support, never question and bend over for your friends because you’re terrified of losing their friendship, even as an adult
(which wouldn’t be necessary, actually, since the few friends i have are real, true friends and would never hurt me, but the need to never went away)
- having to “buy” friendships with providing them snacks, letting them play with your stuff, doing stuff for them
- doubting every. single. one. that’s treating you nicely and like an actual person and questioning their motives
- crippling self-doubt because there has to be something wrong with you to make people treat you like that- “just man up”
-Having every single student and Teacher ignoring you, only if you threw up in class would anyone notice you, only to think you’re disgusting.
-Getting letters telling you to go and kill yourself because no one wants to look at your ugly ass face.
-getting into a group of People, only to realize they use you to get close to that one and only true friend you had, and as soon as they’re friends, they forget about you.
-Always playing alone and talking to yourself, as no one else ever listened to you or cared about your feelings and/or opinions.
中了N槍身亡。
I can relate to most of these a lot
- even as an “Adult” getting nervous and anxious when surrounded by Teenagers who’re in that kinda age range
- drunk teens being loud and obnoxious as when you’re in public in the night can send you into panic attacks, hoping they wont target you like you have been targeted before
-the dare-date thing still makes you question weather anyone who is interested in you could ever actually mean it, and once you have successfully driven them away you always wonder what it could have been like
- once you realize people are genuinly sweet and loving towards you because they love you and value your friendship, you still go out of your way to bend over backwards for them, and every bit of affection and attention almost makes you cry because it overwhelms you
