Any story claiming to be a deconstruction of fairy tales but has nothing to offer except new types of violence, more explicit sex, and a general attitude of “lol happy endings aren’t real” is like. such a cultural waste of time tbh
know what actually is a good deconstruction of a fairy tale? Shrek. It fucks up just about everything in a normal fairy tale and still manages to have a happy ending with a good message and never once has to be ‘gritty’ or ‘dark’. It’s actually really well done.
Imagine if you were a Christian medieval person from a small village and you had a feud with your neighbour… how annoying would it be to see them in church every Sunday? Not only are you obliged to be in the same space with them every week but you’d have to watch them receive the sacrament and have their sins forgiven even though you know damn well they don’t deserve it… and on top of that you get the priest preaching “love thy neighbour” from the pulpit, I think the fuck not, I’ll not love an unneighbourly misbegotten churl such as he, preach though thou might, father
I think I just got possessed by the ghost of a man who’s still really upset about his neighbour’s pigs eating his cabbages
Warhammer 40k orks are just a shitpost. Reading up on the lore of them is a true test because they’re so absurd you cant tel the dufference between theory and actual canon.
Shit i’ve read.
-every one possesses a form of psychic willpower that affects reality.
-technically could not be killed, but a human taunting them described how he would kill them so they became killable.
-they believe the color red increases speed so it does, including their enemies ships.
-they believe the color yellow makes explosions more powerful, so it does.
- they believe the color purple is stealthy so anything purple that they see is now invisible.
-they have windows on their spaceships to do drive-by’s because they dont know theres no air to breathe in space.
-their guns dont actually have any proper functioning parts. But since they believe its a gun, its now a gun.
-an out of ammo imperium squad once used empty guns to kill orks by shouting “bang” and since the orks didnt know they were empty it still killed them.
And now my personal favorite.
-while the emperor is believed to be kept alive by continuous sacrifices of his own techpriests. It is believed that the only reason the emperor is still alive is because the orks believe he is alive.
I cant tell what is true and what is made up because it all reads like that.
Orks are the one faction that makes the Warhammer 40000 setting appealing to me.
WAUUUUUUUUUUGH
-Orks have a gun that fires goblins THROUGH HELL to strike their enemies “Supa fast” (a feat which is deemed impossible by all other factions)
-Orks have very few actual organs and are like 90% fungus
-Like most actual fungus, Orks reproduce with spores that are constantly being spewed from their bodies
-Ork psychers(”magic users”) are so volitile that they will sometimes just explode, sometimes taking half the army with them. This can be prevented by giving the psycher a stick wrapped in copper wire
-Orks decided to weaponize this by cutting off the psycher’s limbs, strapping him down to a cart, throwing him into the middle of the battlefield, then taking away the stick and running away.
-Due to the lack of any real organs, and reproduction with spores, orks lack any form of genetalia. However, Ork painboys(doctors) will sometimes graft fingers or lumps of skin to an ork patient that look like penises just for shits and giggles. This is typically done without patient consent and may result in the doctor’s dismemberment.
-Ork ships tend to have massive amounts of thrusters and rockets on them, all wired up to a single massive red button for the captain to smash
-In any sane universe, 9/10 ork vehicles would explode after turning on the ignition
-Orks are actually one of the oldest races in the galaxy, and were created by god-lizards to fight against giant, metal, sun-eating vampire gods and their robot skeleton slaves
-Orks are the equivalent to the black knight in Monty Python and the Holy grail, being able to be completely dismembered and continuing to fight (and still being a fairly sizable threat)
-If an Ork can find his dismembered limb and staple it back into place, he will be able to reuse that limb.
-The orks once were capable of building AN ENTIRE PLANET completely out of scrap metal.
-A prominent ork strategy is to swarm millions of orks onto an asteroid or moon, then slam them into the planet’s surface, effectively acting as makeshift landing crafts
-In old lore, the way that orks communicated across massive battlestations and walkers was that certain orks were capable of yelling SUPA SUPA LOUD instead of having an actual communication system
I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight
this same idiot: what kind of animal is the pink panther
me, already taking off my clothes: benjamin you’re so fucking stupid
Listen. I’m gonna level with you. I’m gonna be straight with you. I’m gonna be up front about this.
I already don’t know what Overwatch is. There’s a gorilla and some lesbians and guns but yall never play the gorilla I don’t know. And then sometimes if that wasn’t bad enough sometimes you go and just invent new Overwatches. Like just when I’m getting a handle on what “Junkrat kin discourse” is yall show up with “This is my new OC her name is Grandma Sniper” and then SHE’S part of the Overwatchers. “This is Swedish Beefcake” could yall? not?? I still don’t know what a Hanzo is. I know it’s an insult but I don’t know what it means.
“This is my new doctor OC she hangs out with Angela Mercy her name is Moriarty” yall are just making things up now. no one’s explained the gorilla yet. put the doctor away yall already have like a fucking half angel or something. stop just adding characters to the cast i still dont know what the plot is. whats the plot?? no one ever talks about the plot i just know Soldier 69 and his best friend Anakin Skywalker had a fight about something. is there a plot??? i dont think there is!
I’m pretty sure yall are just playing Super Smash Bros and you’re like “yeah uh huh theres a plot theres lore see Grandma Sniper used to be part of Overwatch the Prequel” but then yall just play 10,000 hours of SSB with 18 Grandma Snipers on the field and two Junkrats going “yeah deep lore”
Whos. Whos even the Turgbjorn guy? What did he do??
Alright, so I am pretty sure the people that live in this “Silicon Valley” place are like… not.. people? I don’t.. know.. (quotes clipped from the full article below)
In true Silicon Valley fashion, chicken owners approach their birds
as any savvy venture capitalist might: By throwing lots of money at a
promising flock (spending as much as $20,000 for high-tech coops). By
charting their productivity (number and color of eggs). And by finding
new ways to optimize their birds’ happiness — as well as their own.
Like
any successful start-up, broods aren’t built so much as reverse
engineered. Decisions about breed selection are resolved by using
engineering matrices and spreadsheets that capture “YoY growth.” Some
chicken owners talk about their increasingly extravagant birds like
software updates, referring to them as “Gen 1,” “Gen 2,” “Gen 3” and so
on. They keep the chicken brokers of the region busy finding ever more
novel birds.
New owners might start off with a standard breed like a Leghorn, a
Barred Rock or Rhode Island Red before upgrading to something more
exotic and ornamental like a Silkie, a Jersey Giant, golden laced
bearded Polish chicken or a Dorking, an endangered British breed with a
sweet disposition and roots that stretch back to the Roman empire.
Instead of cobbling
together a plywood coop with materials from the local hardware store,
the rare birds of Silicon Valley are hiring contractors to build $20,000
coops using reclaimed materials or pricey redwood that matches their
human homes. Others opt for a Williams-Sonoma coop — chemical free and
made from sustainable red pine — that has been called the “Range Rover
of chicken cribs.” Coops are also outfitted with solar panels, automated
doors and electrical lighting — as well as video cameras that allow
owners to check on their beloved birds remotely.
It’s not uncommon here to see chickens roaming in their owners’ homes
or even roosting in bedrooms, often with diapers on, according to
Leslie Citroen, 54, one of the Bay Area’s most sought after “chicken
whisperers,” who does everything from selling upscale chickens and
building coops to providing consultation to backyard bird owners. Her
services cost $225 an hour. Want a coop and walk-in pen (known as a
run)? You can expect to pay $4,000 to $5,000 for a standard setup.
At
least one of Citroen’s clients has a personal chef who cooks for her
chickens. Because they eat their birds’ eggs — if not the birds —
chicken health is a top priority, Citroen said. Her clients spend
“thousands” for surgeries and X-rays to keep them alive after predator
attacks and illnesses.
tbh, this isn’t new. engineers of all fields have always been fucking weird. it’s just that now we have them highly concentrated in a particular place so they feed off each other.
*farmer arrives in silicon valley*
engineers: please here is $5000 tell me what my modern dinosaur pet wants
My Youtuber-sona is a 20 year old dude from LA named Zach Roman, also known as TheMainManZ (though most people call him Zach after he got popular).
He does video game LPs and also reaction videos of fail compilations. He has 12k followers, and was once mentioned in a Forbes magazine article about internet startups. He starts his videos saying “What up Z-nerds!” which is what he calls his fans.
He once did a charity stream thing and raised 20k for dog heart disease. He calls it Zach Hearts Dogs, and it’s supposed to be a live show where you get to bring your dog to watch him play PUBG. He never told the venue owner about the dog thing until the very end though, and it turns out the venue has a strict no animals policy. The fans who came there with their dogs ended up having to leave them in a makeshift doggy daycare across the street run by Zach’s parents and agent.
Two days after the event, Zach made a vlog addressing the situation, where he indirectly blamed the venue owner. This led to the fans starting a harassment campaign towards the venue owner, which included vandalism towards the venue. Zach made another vlog the week after, saying that the people who committed the harassment “are just passionate about dog health”. Although, a month later in an interview he said that they “weren’t real Z-Nerds.”
One day he said a racist thing during a stream, and when he got criticized for it, he just laughed it off as a joke. Then he lost a sponsorship deal, so he made an apology video where he points out that he’s a nice person who did a charity stream for dogs.
Then he made a video titled “A Message for Z-Nerds” where he says that Z-Nerds are family and family sticks together no matter what.
